Fred
11-19-2002, 02:20 PM
To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our
own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews or students, here is something to make
you chuckle. Whenever your children are out of control, you can take
comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to his
own children.
After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the
first thing he said was "DON'T!"
"Don't what?" Adam replied.
"Don't eat the forbidden fruit," God said.
"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey, Eve, we have
forbidden fruit!!!!"
"No way!"
"Yes way!"
"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.
"Why?"
"Because I am your Father, and I said so!" God replied, wondering
why
he hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants.
A few minutes later, God saw his children having an apple break,
and
he was ticked!
"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked.
"Uh huh," Adam replied.
"Then why did you?" said the Father.
"I don't know," said Eve.
"She started it!" Adam said.
"Did not!"
"Did too!"
"DID NOT!"
Having had it with the two of them, God decided on punishment: Adam
and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set, and
it
has never changed.
But there is reassurance in the story!
If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom
and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God had trouble
raising children, what made you think it would be a piece of cake for you?
Things to think about!
1. You spend the first two years of their lives teaching children to walk
and talk. Then you spend the next 16 telling them to sit down and be
quiet.
2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.
3. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for
word
what you shouldn't have said.
4. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself
that
there are children more awful than your own.
5. We child-proofed our homes, but they are still getting in.
Advice for the day:
Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home.
And finally:
If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it
says
on the aspirin bottle - "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children."
own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews or students, here is something to make
you chuckle. Whenever your children are out of control, you can take
comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to his
own children.
After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the
first thing he said was "DON'T!"
"Don't what?" Adam replied.
"Don't eat the forbidden fruit," God said.
"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey, Eve, we have
forbidden fruit!!!!"
"No way!"
"Yes way!"
"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.
"Why?"
"Because I am your Father, and I said so!" God replied, wondering
why
he hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants.
A few minutes later, God saw his children having an apple break,
and
he was ticked!
"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked.
"Uh huh," Adam replied.
"Then why did you?" said the Father.
"I don't know," said Eve.
"She started it!" Adam said.
"Did not!"
"Did too!"
"DID NOT!"
Having had it with the two of them, God decided on punishment: Adam
and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set, and
it
has never changed.
But there is reassurance in the story!
If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom
and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God had trouble
raising children, what made you think it would be a piece of cake for you?
Things to think about!
1. You spend the first two years of their lives teaching children to walk
and talk. Then you spend the next 16 telling them to sit down and be
quiet.
2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.
3. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for
word
what you shouldn't have said.
4. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself
that
there are children more awful than your own.
5. We child-proofed our homes, but they are still getting in.
Advice for the day:
Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home.
And finally:
If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it
says
on the aspirin bottle - "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children."