Fred
08-27-2003, 12:48 PM
OBITUARY
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend by the name of
Common Sense who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how
old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red
tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valued lessons as
knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm
and that life isn't always fair.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend
more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not kids,
are in charge). His health began to rapidly deteriorate when
well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.
Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for
kissing a classmate, teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after
lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened
his condition!
He declined even further when schools were required to get parental
consent to administer aspirin to a student, but could not inform the
parents when a student became pregnant.
Over time, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments
became contraband, churches became businesses and criminals received better
treatment than their victims.
Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize that
a steaming cup of coffee was hot, spilled it in her lap, and was awarded a
huge settlement from McDonald's.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust,
his wife, Discretion, his daughter, Responsibility, and his son, Reason.
He is survived by Two Stepbrothers, My Rights and Ima Whiner.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
If you still know him pass this on.
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend by the name of
Common Sense who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how
old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red
tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valued lessons as
knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm
and that life isn't always fair.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend
more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not kids,
are in charge). His health began to rapidly deteriorate when
well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.
Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for
kissing a classmate, teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after
lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened
his condition!
He declined even further when schools were required to get parental
consent to administer aspirin to a student, but could not inform the
parents when a student became pregnant.
Over time, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments
became contraband, churches became businesses and criminals received better
treatment than their victims.
Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize that
a steaming cup of coffee was hot, spilled it in her lap, and was awarded a
huge settlement from McDonald's.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust,
his wife, Discretion, his daughter, Responsibility, and his son, Reason.
He is survived by Two Stepbrothers, My Rights and Ima Whiner.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
If you still know him pass this on.