Fred
11-01-2003, 02:17 PM
Silent treatment
Thibodeaux and his wife were giving each other the silent treatment.
After a week of no talking, Thibodeaux realizes he would need his wife to wake him up for an early morning fishing trip.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me up at 5 o'clock in the morning."
The next morning Thibodeaux arose only to discover it was 9 A.M., and he had missed this fishing trip.
Furious he was about to go and find his wife when he noticed a piece of paper on his pillow.
It read "It's 5 A.M. Wake up".
***********************
Artist Boudreaux
"Doctor", Mrs. Thibodeaux said loudly bouncing into a room, "I want you to say frankly what's wrong with me."
Mr. Boudreaux surveyed her from head to feet. "Madam", he said, "I've just three things to tell you. First your weight wants reducing by nearly 50 pounds. Second, your beauty would be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third I'm an artist and the doctor is on the next floor."
**********************
Mrs. Thibodeaux's makeover
Mrs. Thibodeaux, a middle age woman, had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital where she had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked, "Is my time up?"
"No " he replied, 'you have another 40 years to live".
Upon recovery, Mrs. Thibodeaux decided to stay in the hospital and have a facelift, liposuction and a tummy tuck.
She even bleached her hair blonde, figuring that, as she had so many years left, she may as well make the most of them. After her release from the hospital, she was crossing the street on her way home when she was hit and killed by an ambulance.
When she arrived in front of God, she complained:"I thought you said I had another 40 years. Why didn't you pull me out of the path of the ambulance?"
God said, "I didn't reconize you".
****************************
Boudreaux and the Boudin Sausage
Boudreaux goes into a store and tells the clerk, "I'd like some boudin."
The clerk looks at him and says, "Are you a Coonass?"
Boudreaux, clearly offended, says, "Well, yes I am, but let me ask you something. If I had asked for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian? Or if I had asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog, would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or if I had asked for a taco, would you ask if I was Mexican? Would ya, huh? Would ya?"
The clerk says, "Well, no."
With deep self-righteous indignation, Boudreaux says, "Well, alright then, why did you ask me if I'm a Coonass just because I asked for boudin?"
The clerk replies, "Because this is Home Depot."
Thibodeaux and his wife were giving each other the silent treatment.
After a week of no talking, Thibodeaux realizes he would need his wife to wake him up for an early morning fishing trip.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me up at 5 o'clock in the morning."
The next morning Thibodeaux arose only to discover it was 9 A.M., and he had missed this fishing trip.
Furious he was about to go and find his wife when he noticed a piece of paper on his pillow.
It read "It's 5 A.M. Wake up".
***********************
Artist Boudreaux
"Doctor", Mrs. Thibodeaux said loudly bouncing into a room, "I want you to say frankly what's wrong with me."
Mr. Boudreaux surveyed her from head to feet. "Madam", he said, "I've just three things to tell you. First your weight wants reducing by nearly 50 pounds. Second, your beauty would be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third I'm an artist and the doctor is on the next floor."
**********************
Mrs. Thibodeaux's makeover
Mrs. Thibodeaux, a middle age woman, had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital where she had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked, "Is my time up?"
"No " he replied, 'you have another 40 years to live".
Upon recovery, Mrs. Thibodeaux decided to stay in the hospital and have a facelift, liposuction and a tummy tuck.
She even bleached her hair blonde, figuring that, as she had so many years left, she may as well make the most of them. After her release from the hospital, she was crossing the street on her way home when she was hit and killed by an ambulance.
When she arrived in front of God, she complained:"I thought you said I had another 40 years. Why didn't you pull me out of the path of the ambulance?"
God said, "I didn't reconize you".
****************************
Boudreaux and the Boudin Sausage
Boudreaux goes into a store and tells the clerk, "I'd like some boudin."
The clerk looks at him and says, "Are you a Coonass?"
Boudreaux, clearly offended, says, "Well, yes I am, but let me ask you something. If I had asked for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian? Or if I had asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog, would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or if I had asked for a taco, would you ask if I was Mexican? Would ya, huh? Would ya?"
The clerk says, "Well, no."
With deep self-righteous indignation, Boudreaux says, "Well, alright then, why did you ask me if I'm a Coonass just because I asked for boudin?"
The clerk replies, "Because this is Home Depot."