Fred
03-31-2004, 09:21 PM
Been too quiet here, so....
The Parrot
Busy body, snobby, pillar of the church, Marie, went to Jim’s House of Birds to buy a parrot. She and Jim had never gotten along since grade school because he was from the other side of the track.
“Jim, I want a parrot”, She told Jim. “This must be your best parrot. I do NOT want an ordinary plain one. Nothing but your best will do. Father Steve will be coming over to our home tonight for one of my world famous dinners and he has that parrot that he always brags about. Now I know nothing about parrots but since I’m buying one I must have one that talks and Ethel told me that the females talk more than the males.” (Not a big surprise there).
Old Jim smiled and said “Ms. Marie, I have the perfect parrot for you. Not only could this bird talk; but also she has the most beautiful colors. Your friends will be talking about you and this remarkable parrot for years to come. You will be the envy of everyone. But maybe this parrot will be too much for you….”
“No, no, Jim. I MUST have that parrot”, she said. And so she bought it.
“One thing thought”, Jim said, “her cage is covered because she needs some sleep. Keep her covered till you get home or better yet, keep her covered till the priest gets there. That way she will be real talkative.”
That night father Steve arrived for supper and the priest was raving about his remarkable parrot. Marie just beamed with pride. “Well father, I just bought THE most remarkable parrot”
She removed the cover and there was the most beautiful parrot they had ever seen. The parrot squawks and repeats over and over “I’m a whore and I love it!”
Marie sat there red faced and stammered that that bird would be returned to that creep Jim tomorrow. The priest told her that would not be necessary. He explained that his parrot had a gutter vocabulary but he trained it and now the parrot even says the rosary. He tells her he will take the bird home with him and put it in the cage with his male parrot and his parrot will be a good influence. Marie agrees but still says she will get “that Jim” for embarrassing her.
The priest goes home and sure enough there is his parrot with a rosary and saying “Hail Mary, full of grace”. The priest puts the female in the cage and covers it for the night. The female looks at the male and says “I’m a whore and I love it”. The male parrot drops the rosary and says - ”Thank God, my prayers have been answered”
The Parrot
Busy body, snobby, pillar of the church, Marie, went to Jim’s House of Birds to buy a parrot. She and Jim had never gotten along since grade school because he was from the other side of the track.
“Jim, I want a parrot”, She told Jim. “This must be your best parrot. I do NOT want an ordinary plain one. Nothing but your best will do. Father Steve will be coming over to our home tonight for one of my world famous dinners and he has that parrot that he always brags about. Now I know nothing about parrots but since I’m buying one I must have one that talks and Ethel told me that the females talk more than the males.” (Not a big surprise there).
Old Jim smiled and said “Ms. Marie, I have the perfect parrot for you. Not only could this bird talk; but also she has the most beautiful colors. Your friends will be talking about you and this remarkable parrot for years to come. You will be the envy of everyone. But maybe this parrot will be too much for you….”
“No, no, Jim. I MUST have that parrot”, she said. And so she bought it.
“One thing thought”, Jim said, “her cage is covered because she needs some sleep. Keep her covered till you get home or better yet, keep her covered till the priest gets there. That way she will be real talkative.”
That night father Steve arrived for supper and the priest was raving about his remarkable parrot. Marie just beamed with pride. “Well father, I just bought THE most remarkable parrot”
She removed the cover and there was the most beautiful parrot they had ever seen. The parrot squawks and repeats over and over “I’m a whore and I love it!”
Marie sat there red faced and stammered that that bird would be returned to that creep Jim tomorrow. The priest told her that would not be necessary. He explained that his parrot had a gutter vocabulary but he trained it and now the parrot even says the rosary. He tells her he will take the bird home with him and put it in the cage with his male parrot and his parrot will be a good influence. Marie agrees but still says she will get “that Jim” for embarrassing her.
The priest goes home and sure enough there is his parrot with a rosary and saying “Hail Mary, full of grace”. The priest puts the female in the cage and covers it for the night. The female looks at the male and says “I’m a whore and I love it”. The male parrot drops the rosary and says - ”Thank God, my prayers have been answered”