Fred
11-11-2004, 01:48 AM
The firing squad
Boudreaux, Simoneaux and Thibodeaux were convicted of killing a man and were to be shot before a firing.
They were placed against a prison wall one by one. The first one was Boudreaux and just before the order to shoot was given, he yelled, "Earth quake!" The firing squad panicked and in the confusion, Boudreaux jumped over the wall and escaped.
Simoneaux was next, and he saw what Boudreaux had done. Before the fireing squad shot, Simoneaux shouted "Tornado!" Again the squad scattered and Simoneaux slipped away to safety.
Last up was Thibodeaux. He thoiught, "I see the pattern here, just scream out a disaster and hop over the wall." As the firing squad raised their rifles and took aim, Thibodeaux grinned smugly and yelled, "Fire!"
***********************************
The Godfather
A Chicago Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has taken him for $10 million.
This bookkeeper is deaf. It was considered an occupational benefit and why he got the job in the first place, since it was assumed that a deaf bookkeeper would not be able to hear anything if he'd ever have to testify in court. When the Godfather goes to shake down the bookkeeper about his missing $10 million, he brings along his attorney, who knows sign language.
The Godfather asks the bookkeeper: "Where is the 10 million bucks you embezzled from me?"
The attorney, using sign language, asks the bookkeeper where the 10 million dollars is hidden.
The bookkeeper signs back: "I don't know what you are talking about."
The attorney tells the Godfather: "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about."
That's when the Godfather pulls out a 9mm pistol, puts it to the bookkeeper's temple, cocks it, and says: "Ask him again!"
The attorney signs to the underling: "He'll kill you for sure if you don't tell him!"
The bookkeeper signs back: "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Larry's backyard in Oak Park!"
The Godfather asks the attorney: "Well, what'd he say?"
The attorney replies: "He says you don't have the guts to pull the trigger."
*********************************
Boudreaux's new boat motor
So, Boudreaux done bought himself one of dem bran' new boat motors. He calls his padnuh, Thibodeaux, to go fishin' and dey bot' head out to de bayou with dat boat motor strapped to de pirogue.
So dey out dere in dey favorite spot when all of a sudden dat boat motor fall off de boat -- kaSPLASH!
Thibodeaux looks at Boudreaux and say, "Mah, Boudreaux, how we gonna get back? We didn't bring no paddles 'cause you got dat bran' new boat motor!"
Boudreaux say, "Thibodeaux, me, I'm gonna swam down dere and get dat boat motor." KaSPLASH! Boudreaux jump in de water.
So he's down dere, and he's down dere, and he's down dere some more. Thibodeaux gets worried an' looks over de side. Dere's Boudreaux at the bottom of the bayou with dat boat motor, yankin' de rope wit' all he's got.
Thibodeaux say, "Mah, coullion! Pull de choke! Pull de choke!
*****************************
Marriage seminar
While attending a marriage seminar in Maurice dealing with communication, Theophille Thibodeaux and his wife Melba listened to the instructor, Bubba Boudreaux.
"It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other," Bodrdeaux said, addressing the men. "Can you describe your wife's favorite flower?"
Theoplille leaned over, touched Melba's arm gently and whispered, "It's
Pillsbury, isn't it?"
Boudreaux, Simoneaux and Thibodeaux were convicted of killing a man and were to be shot before a firing.
They were placed against a prison wall one by one. The first one was Boudreaux and just before the order to shoot was given, he yelled, "Earth quake!" The firing squad panicked and in the confusion, Boudreaux jumped over the wall and escaped.
Simoneaux was next, and he saw what Boudreaux had done. Before the fireing squad shot, Simoneaux shouted "Tornado!" Again the squad scattered and Simoneaux slipped away to safety.
Last up was Thibodeaux. He thoiught, "I see the pattern here, just scream out a disaster and hop over the wall." As the firing squad raised their rifles and took aim, Thibodeaux grinned smugly and yelled, "Fire!"
***********************************
The Godfather
A Chicago Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has taken him for $10 million.
This bookkeeper is deaf. It was considered an occupational benefit and why he got the job in the first place, since it was assumed that a deaf bookkeeper would not be able to hear anything if he'd ever have to testify in court. When the Godfather goes to shake down the bookkeeper about his missing $10 million, he brings along his attorney, who knows sign language.
The Godfather asks the bookkeeper: "Where is the 10 million bucks you embezzled from me?"
The attorney, using sign language, asks the bookkeeper where the 10 million dollars is hidden.
The bookkeeper signs back: "I don't know what you are talking about."
The attorney tells the Godfather: "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about."
That's when the Godfather pulls out a 9mm pistol, puts it to the bookkeeper's temple, cocks it, and says: "Ask him again!"
The attorney signs to the underling: "He'll kill you for sure if you don't tell him!"
The bookkeeper signs back: "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Larry's backyard in Oak Park!"
The Godfather asks the attorney: "Well, what'd he say?"
The attorney replies: "He says you don't have the guts to pull the trigger."
*********************************
Boudreaux's new boat motor
So, Boudreaux done bought himself one of dem bran' new boat motors. He calls his padnuh, Thibodeaux, to go fishin' and dey bot' head out to de bayou with dat boat motor strapped to de pirogue.
So dey out dere in dey favorite spot when all of a sudden dat boat motor fall off de boat -- kaSPLASH!
Thibodeaux looks at Boudreaux and say, "Mah, Boudreaux, how we gonna get back? We didn't bring no paddles 'cause you got dat bran' new boat motor!"
Boudreaux say, "Thibodeaux, me, I'm gonna swam down dere and get dat boat motor." KaSPLASH! Boudreaux jump in de water.
So he's down dere, and he's down dere, and he's down dere some more. Thibodeaux gets worried an' looks over de side. Dere's Boudreaux at the bottom of the bayou with dat boat motor, yankin' de rope wit' all he's got.
Thibodeaux say, "Mah, coullion! Pull de choke! Pull de choke!
*****************************
Marriage seminar
While attending a marriage seminar in Maurice dealing with communication, Theophille Thibodeaux and his wife Melba listened to the instructor, Bubba Boudreaux.
"It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other," Bodrdeaux said, addressing the men. "Can you describe your wife's favorite flower?"
Theoplille leaned over, touched Melba's arm gently and whispered, "It's
Pillsbury, isn't it?"